How to Connect with People Online
COVID-19 brought with it changes to how we interact with others. Greeting each other with a handshake or a hug is a think of the past. Not only have businesses switched to on-line meetings to replace many face-to-face meetings, but family and friends are seeking to connect on-line as lockdowns and travel restrictions limit our ability to see each other in person.
Since COVID-19 restrictions started, the number of suicides and incidents of domestic violence have increased. And it’s not surprising. Our world has been turned up-side down at the same time as many of our usual coping strategies have been denied us.
We turn to video conferencing as our best option for maintaining a sense of connectivity and belonging. Yet for many video conferencing leaves them feeling unfulfilled. It lacks the energy and vitality of a face-to-face meeting.
With Melbourne at the start of its second lockdown, how do we change the way we video conference to better maintain a sense of connectivity?
In this article, we start at the beginning with video conference basics.
Being Seen
It might seem obvious, but I have been on a number of video conferences where the person at the other end was difficult to see.
There are three key elements to being seen:
Lighting
Framing
Background
The three need to be considered together so that in fixing one, you don’t cause a problem with the others.
Lighting
You want to ensure that there is light on your face. You want to have the light in front of you rather than behind you, and you may need to supplement natural light or room lights with a standard or desk light that focuses on your face.
Background Light
In this set up the natural light from outside is behind me, leaving my face in shadow. This makes it hard to see my facial expressions.
Make sure that your set up isn’t in front of a bright window, particularly if the day is brighter than it was here.
Framing
Framing is looking at what other people see in the camera. If you have multiple people at your end of the video conference you want to make sure that they are all in the frame. You want to be able to look directly at the camera without having to look up or down. If you are engaging socially, you may want to frame enough space for you to move around in. Ideally you show all at least your torso and your hands.
Studies have shown that people will trust you less if your hands aren’t showing.
If you talk with your hands, you need to ensure that they show when you are talking with them.
Poor Framing
In this example, I have to look up at the camera and am too close to see all my hand movements.
If you normally sit at your computer when video conference, you may need to move your chair back a little so that your hands are always in view.
Background
When thinking about your background there are a couple of things to look at:
Is it appropriate for the type of video conference?
Is it distracting?
A plain wall is often the best option for a professional video conference, but look for simple things from light patterns to odd perturbations that can be distracting.
While showing your bottle of wine might be completely appropriate for a social conference, it is not appropriate for a professional conference unless you work in the wine industry.
Good Backgrounds
For a social conference, good backgrounds can include kitchens and gardens. Avoid backgrounds with moving images such as the TV. For work neutral backgrounds are better.
“Make sure your background looks decent. You may like your kid’s drawings on the fridge. Your co-workers? Not so much. You can even set up a dedicated video area with a green screen and all the trimmings. But many video-conferencing programs, such as Zoom, enable you to set up a virtual background, so your messy room is replaced by a much image of you on the International Space Station. ”
Being Engaging
Ok, so now you have your computer set up just the way you want, and everyone can see you, but unfortunately this isn’t enough for you to achieve a realconnection. Video conferencing takes your engaging 3-D self and replacing it with a series of 2-D still images. It might look like you, but this process takes energy out of your engagements even when you have a good connection. In a face-to-face meeting, the way we walk, the way we greet people, the way we sit and who we interact with first in a room all have a big impact on how we are perceived. When all other people can see is a torso, the amount of body language and other social cues that people can see is limited, so we need to work harder to get the type of connection we want.
Here are 3 techniques to adding energy back into your video conference:
Watch your Body Language
Wear Colour
Avoid Small Patterns
Up Your Makeup
Talk with the visible parts of your body
Watch Your Body Language
Nothing says that you are not interesting in a video conference more that being distracted and having poor body language.
Look at the camera, smile, keep your back upright and your hands on the table or in your lap when not talking with them.
Avoid fidgeting with papers, pens, hair, ears, lips, beards or moustaches.
“Research by the University of Cambridge found that when nervous, people tend to comfort themselves by engaging in an array of unsightly face-touching behaviors, from smoothing their eyebrows and tugging at earlobes, to itching their nose or chewing on their lower lip. If these are guilty pleasures you have a habit of indulging in, stop it. On camera in a meeting they make you appear insecure, incompetent, and to some it may even appear that you are lying – yikes! ”
Wear Colour
There are loads of benefits to wearing slightly brighter colour on a video conference. Start by choosing colours that stand out from the background. I remember watching a professional video clip where the speaker was almost invisible against the background apart from their hair. It was very distracting.
If you are on a professional video conference with lots of other people who are wearing neutrals - the traditional dark suit and white shirt, wearing colour can help you stand out from everyone else - even when you have a bad connection.
If you are using a green screen and the background replacement feature in zoom, avoid wearing clothes or patterns using a similar green - unless you want your background to appear on it. I remember watching a weather presenter on the TV once where the map moved all over his tie as he moved around to give the weather for different cities. It was very distracting and the cause of much amusement.
If you have coloured eyes, a top or topper in the colour of your eyes is an excellent choice as it help focus attention on your eyes, and plenty of studies have shown the importance of eye contact when public speaking.
Avoid Patterns
Avoid patterns when video conferencing. Small patterns are particularly bad as the can distort and swim - remember that even if they are fine in person become even smaller when video conferencing. Avoid herringbone, small dots, fine stripes and checks are particularly bad.
Patterns Swim
While this is a great image, clothes or a background in this pattern would swim on video conference and be distracting.
Credit: Praewthida K, Unsplash
“Avoid stripes as they can strobe on camera and create a shimmering effect which is off putting to those looking at you.
Avoid large patterns as they can dominate (and take attention away from your face), in general on camera go for solids over patterns most of the time as they are easier to look at.
If you’re not sure, wear solid colours rather than patterns.”
Highlight Your Eyes and Mouth
Video conferencing seems to sap colour, so the aim here is to make is easier to focus on your eyes and mouth so that by making them stand out a little from your face.
The most obvious way to do this is by upping your makeup, but wearing a the right pair of glasses will also draw attention to your eyes.
If you don’t normally wear any makeup, adding just mascara or lip gloss will make it easier for people to focus on your face.
If you normally wear a lot of makeup, just add an extra coat of mascara or eyeliner, and choose a slightly brighter shade of lipstick than normal - but not too bright.
Coloured glasses draw extra attention to my eyes and lipstick adds definition to my mouth.
Talk with Your Hands
When we set up your camera we make sure that your hands showed. Now is the time to use them.
“Talking with your hands is a smart way to show people you are passionately engaged in the subject you are talking about, and being passionately engaged is kind of a big deal. Lakshmi Balachandra, a Professor at Babson College and expert in business negotiations conducted a study that analyzed the verbal and nonverbal behavior videos of 185 venture capital presentations. She found that the strongest predictor of who was awarded money was not a person’s credentials or their pitch content, but their confidence and passionate enthusiasm. To make sure you are using your hands and arms to your advantage during a video meeting, Goman says that when not using them to gesture, place them on the table “about 8 to 10 inches in front of your torso so people can see them. Keep them relaxed and separated. Don’t hang onto the edge of the table, or you will look desperate. Don’t play with your pen or shuffle papers.” If you are in the habit of crossing your arms, try to refrain from doing so because research shows crossed arms encourage others to think critical thoughts toward you. It also makes you appear unapproachable.”
Being Polite
There is a different form of social etiquette in video conferencing, particularly when doing it for work.
Here are the most important things to remember, particularly for a professional conference calls
Log on a couple of minutes early if the call is at a prescheduled time
Mute you mike when not talking. This stops the video conference call from switching attention to you if you make a noise turning pages or if you need to clear your throat.
Limit background noise and distractions - turn off the TV, radio and dishwasher and keep small kids and pets in another room unless they are meant to be part of the conference call. My husband got caught out the other day when the cat climbed all over him and the keyboard sending repeated messages to his work colleagues and interrupting the call.
Give the conference call your full attention and remember to turn off your video if you need to leave for any reason. There are plenty of stories on the internet of people who forgot they weren’t wearing trousers and then there is the case of the Brazilian minister who showered during a video conference.
“It is quite common to have participants from different countries considering the fact that the world has become globalised. Make sure to pick a time that will work for everyone involved. It is very important to keep time zones in mind, particularly when you’re sending calendar invitations. Selecting the incorrect time zones will cause confusion and will affect the productivity of the conference adversely.”
“During in-person meetings, you can pick up on visual cues to help find the right time to speak. It’s a lot easier to accidentally interrupt on a video call. Wait for a few moments of silence before speaking up in case there’s a sound delay.
If your company or team is going to have regular online meetings, it’s a good idea to decide on a system for asking questions, such as raising your hand or using chat to ask a question. If you’re running the meeting, it’s also helpful to call on people by name.”
Being Professional, Social or Intimate
When adding the final touches on your outfit, think about the purpose of the meeting. Is it professional, social or intimate?
For a video conference where you want to appear professional, such as a meeting with a bank or in a work setting, you want people to focus on your eyes and the area around them.
For a social meeting, you want people to focus on you face and the area between your lips and eyes.
For an intimate conference anything goes.
Appropriate wear for the professional and social conferences depends on how you are framed. When people can see your full body a statement necklace or necktie draws attention up from your feet to your face. When people can only see your torso or less, then that same statement necklace or necktie draws attention down away from your lips and eyes.
Necklaces, scarves and ties should match eye colour. As people only see you from the chest up, wearing a statement necklace, scarf or tie is the equivalent of wearing statement shoes in the office; it draws the viewers eye away from your face.
Wearing a top in the colour of your eyes will also help draw attention to you eye region.
The next photo show a more social version of the outfit pictured above. They two images were taken on the same day. The only difference is the glasses and the earrings.
The longer earrings in the image below attention lower on my face. As they are the same colour as my eyes, attention can move freely between my lips and eyes, which is perfect for a social video conference.
The smaller earrings in the same colour don’t draw attention down as much, and the glasses frame my eyes drawing more attention to them and as they match my hair colour, they keep the focus on the top of my face.
This differences would be even more apparent if I had to closely frame my image due to space constraints.
Final Words
I hope you found something useful in these tips. If you have a great tip for video conferencing, I would love to hear it.
Before I go, here is one final tip from me.
Avoid yellow and orange tops and accessories if you want to be taken more seriously than creatively. Be careful with red that you don’t seem too aggressive.
References
24 Video Conference Tips, Steven J. Vaughan-Nichols , Z D Net
5 Body Language Tips for Better Video Conferences, High Five
7 Essentials for Looking Your Best in Video Conference Calls, Jaqueline Whitmore, The Entrepreneur Asia Pacific
How to Look Good on a Video Call, Imogen Lamport, Inside Out Style
The Do’s and Don’t of Video Conferencing, Aliya Chaudhry, the Verge
